Van Bender and the Spirit Tether

Van Bender and the Spirit Tether

S. James Nelson

Paranormal

56 pages

Young teen

Warnings: none

   Richie Van Bender is a famous rockstar at age 15, despite never having had a concert. His mother is an extreme helicopter mother who won't allow him to have unsupervised conversations with his two friends, Kurt and Sandra, see any of his fans or anyone else for that matter, especially other rockstars. When Kurt and Sandra manage to sneak Richie an I-pad, Bobby Fretboard gets a hold of him and Richie begins plotting ways to get around his mom's hovering to meet him.

Writing Style: 5/10

   This was written in a style that I believe was a bit young for the audience. I also believe that the way Richie handles his mom's behavior is a little unrealistic. I feel as though at 15 he would be rebelling harder and constantly. There are also these little quotes that I feel that are unnecessary. They do help with seeing the other characters intentions, but it also really breaks me out of the story.

Plot: 8/10

   The plot was fairly interesting. A rockstar who is basically on lockdown due to his mother is trying to break out of his tiny world and have a more normal life.

Originality: 7/10

   The idea of a rebellious teen or an overprotective mother isn't new, but how Nelson pulled it off was interesting. He added a paranormal element (which is also not new), but the details of it were what made it interesting, but were also a major part of the climax.

Enjoyability- 6/10

   The story wasn't terrible. It had an interesting premise and I did find myself wanting to find out what was going on, but not nearly as much as some other things I've read.

End- 7/10

   The end was pretty good. It answered most of the questions that came up during the course of the story while leaving a few and raising some more to make you want to buy the sequel.

Overall- 33/50

Get it on Kindle, Smashwords, Kobo and Nook.

Visit S. James Nelson here.

What did you guys think? Tell me in the comments.

The King of Birds

The King of Birds

Ross Dupree

Fantasy

48 pages

Teen

Warnings: Implied sexual content

 

   Cassian is an alchemists apprentice. When his master, Linus, needs some Mero's breath for his work, he sends Cassian to go with the local harvester, to see the world. As the two leave, they meet John the Rambler, the King of Birds, who really sets their adventure in motion.

 

Writing Style: 8/10

 

   I can be a real sucker for this type of writing. That being said, I did notice a few errors in the writing and I really think it could have been proofread better, which took off a few points.

 

Plot: 6/10

 

   It was a fairly good plot, but it had some drawbacks. For one, I think Cassian and Sera's relationship progressed a little faster than I would have liked. I wish that there would have been more time to get to know them and see their love bloom. I also believe that it was a little predictable.

Originality: 5/10

   The plot was fairly standard for an adventure story. Go on some unexpected adventure, probably with a girl you end up getting, meet some mysterious stranger that gives you a gift that somehow helps you later. This was also a short that made it difficult to put it's originality in.

Enjoyability- 8/10

   Despite all of it's flaws, all of which are listed above, I really enjoyed this story. The character's were well written and interesting and though predictable and not as original as some, but it was written well enough that you would forget about those things and just engross yourself in Sera and Cassian's adventure.

End- 7/10

   I was a little disappointed with the ending, but I believe that it was done this way because Dupree is planning on expanding Correndrum (the country where this and his other short stories take place) into a whole universe, possibly with full-length novel featuring Cassian and his other character's. I'm not certain on this, but it would explain the ending that just leaves you wondering what lies in store for Cassian.

Overall- 34/50

Has anyone read The King of Birds? What were your opinions?

Get it on the Kindle.

Visit Ross Dupree on Amazon.

Middle-aged Machines

Middle-aged Machines

Bryan Harrell

Humor

18 pages

Late Teen to Adult

Warnings: Minor violence

 The story focuses around Bob, a photocopier, Tracy, a cell phone, and Dave, a computer. These three machines all fall in love with Gill, a woman who works in an insurance agency. The story revolves around what the three do to try and get Gill's attention.

Writing Style: 8/10

 Normally I'm not a huge fan of stories with limited dialogue, but it seems to work well with this story. Since machines do not have any traditional ways to speak, this mainly focuses on what they are thinking and the antics that they pull to try and get attention.

Plot: 7/10

 The plot was a little confusing for most of the story. I wasn't really sure what it was that Harrell was trying to get across and I thought it was a slice of life story in the beginning. When it started switching characters, I was even more confused as to what was going on, but at some point it all seemed to make sense and the plot was clear, boosting it back up to a seven.

Originality: 7/10

 This type of story has definitely been done before. Still, I think that Harrell brought a great twist to it by making it so that there were three machines vying for the attention of one woman. Most of this that I have seen has been one machine trying to get the attention of many others and failing over and over again, but this shows how there can really be multiple people (or in this case, machines) that are trying to win the attention of one person and how their plots in acheiving this differs.

Enjoyability- 8/10

 Once I figured out what was going on, this was quite an enjoyable read. It was short and Harrell did not drag it out, The three main characters were well written and you could really feel for their plight and smile at the farfetched plans that they concocted.

End- 10/10

 The end really made me laugh. It was worth reading through to it just to read that last line and know that it was the truth.

Overall- 40/50

This book is available on Kindle.

For more about the author, visit his blog.

Next week's story is The Kind of Birds by Ross Dupree