Game Over- Extended Edition

Game Over- Extended Edition

 

 

Todd Thorne

Sci-fi/Horror

33 pages

Teen

Warnings: Language, scary themes

   While Timmy's parents are bust fighting over their divorce, Timmy is hiding in his room, dueling his friend Jimmy through virtual reality, trying to win by making the scariest stream.

Writing Style- 4/10

   Even though this is supposed to be about the virtual reality, it isn't  discussed much and it seems to mostly focus around his parents divorce. Most of the virtual reality s also explained poorly, such as what a stream and stealing are. A little more explanation and a little more of the virtual reality would boost this a lot.

Plot- 7/10

   The part of the plot that focuses around the divorce isn't great, but the virtual reality and the dueling is fascinating and a full length story focusing on this would be great. The way he tied the stream of the virtual reality video he used in the duel to scare his friend Joshua) into the divorce was interesting's but the stream wasn't nearly as interesting as the original, alternate stream found only in the extended edition.

Originality- 3/10

   Although the dueling and everything was very original, it is completely overshadowed by the divorce. His parents fight constantly, his mom is drinking, buying things and possibly doing drugs while his father is with a woman in her 20's, taking her on expensive trips, living together and expecting a child. They both drill him about the others behavior when they are with him and otherwise don't have much to do with him, unless they're trying to prove that they're the better parent. If it were any more straight out of an After School Special, it would be completely unreadable.

Enjoyability- 4/10

   Between the divorce and the complete lack of terror in the stream for me, I had a hard time getting through this. The alternate stream was quite a bit better.

End- 4/10

   Pretty predictable. Although it doesn't explicitly tell us exactly what happens and wrap up, it leaves just enough to the imagination.

Overall- 22/50

 

The extended edition is only available on Kindle, but the standard edition is available on Smashwords.

 

Todd Thorne's website can be found here.

 

Has anyone else read Game Over? What was your opinion? Was I too harsh or too lenient?

Don't Drink the Water

Don't Drink the Water

D. B. Swift

Genre: Horror

46 pages

Age: Teen 

Warnings: Scary themes; light violence

   While having to endure a summer focused around his step-mom, six-year-old brother and father, fifteen-year old Micah is drawn to a gap in the fence of his family's new house. He finds a hill with a small stream at the bottom on the other side of the fence. As he approaches, he finds a knife that he pockets, calling a humanoid creature to claim something of Micah's after Micah took something of his. Micah manages to get away from the creature with the help of a crow, but soon notices that his family is acting strange around the gap in the fence, strange enough to possibly even get them killed.

Writing Style- 6/10

   Not terrible, but not my favorite either. For the most part I enjoyed it, but I seemed to have a problem with Micah's gender. Micah came off as more feminine to me and I had to keep reminding myself that he was not, in fact, a boy.

Plot- 7/10

   The plot was intriguing, but started off pretty slow, mostly being about Micah and how awful it was to have to move and just spend time with his family, especially when they gave him the same rules as his brothers, even though he's much older. It was important, but seemed to drag on longer than necessary to me.

Originality- 6/10

   Although the idea of going through a small opening and going somewhere more dangerous is not new, there were some good things about this. The crow comes to play a much more important role later, but it is not a creature of good and it must be bribed to do this. The story was just too short to have too much originality, which I feel may come out more in the Fledgling and A Chain of Fine Silver, the sequels.

Enjoyability- 7/10

   Overall, I enjoyed it. I was interested in seeing how this creature dealt with Micah and what was going to happen to his family. There was concern for one of the characters and his possible death to the gap and there is a lot that rides on how Micah reacts to his debt.

End- 7/10

   The end was decent. It ties up what is going on and Micah gets some answers to his questions about the creature, but it raises so many more and doesn't answer them all. I think it left a little too much hanging to give it a higher score. It was almost as if this was more of a cliff hanger for a chapter than the end of a story.

Overall- 33/50

Get it on the Kindle.

Has anyone else read Don't Drink the Water? What did you think?

The Infant Kiss

The Infant Kiss

N. D. Bray

Horror

7 pages

18+

Warnings: Graphic violence, strong language

   This is a short story based around Cal, who wakes up in an attic and begins losing body parts, beginning with his eye.

Writing Style: 6/10

   For the most part, I liked the style. There was a distinct lack of description that I was really hoping to see though, giving it an get higher.

Plot: 7/10

   Good. It all made sense. Unfortunately, in a story so short there's not much to be said.

Originality: 6/10

   This sort of feels like it had a Saw element to it. I've also seen a lot of these types of who captured me short stories, so I felt like I had to deduct a few points for that. There were some definite original aspects to it though and that really helped it.

Enjoyability- 8/10

   Despite it's faults, I really enjoyed this. If it had had a bit more description about the pain and terror that Cal would have been experiencing, then it would have gotten a full score.

End- 8/10

   A solid end that I wouldn't have expected, even had I known of the character's existance. It won't be a let down when you get there, especially with a story this short.

Overall- 35

   If your a fan of the Saw movies like myself, I'd highly recommend it, but if you're squeamish, pass on it. Although it lacks a lot of description, there's enough to make cringe and squirm if you aren't a fan of the torture horror.

You can get The Infant Kiss on Amazon.